• LELAKI LEMBUT – SATU PENGENALAN
  
  Isu Lelaki Lembut telah dibangkitkan dalam Mesyuarat Kaunselor Organisasi dan Kaunselor HEP Institut Pendidikan Guru Malaysia pada 20-22 April 2009 di Hotel Royale Bintang, Seremban. Didapati bahawa ada wujudnya personaliti seumpama itu bukan sahaja di IPGM bahkan juga di banyak institusi lain termasuk sekolah-sekolah di seluruh negara. Ekoran daripada itu KPM pula mengambil tindakan untuk mendapatkan data bagi jenis kes yang berkenaan dan seterusnya mengenalpasti strategi untuk menolong mereka agar isu kecelaruan identiti gender ini tidak akan menjadikan satu lagi masalah sosial di negara kita.
  
  Kebetulan juga pada pertengahan Julai yang lalu, Pn. Normazwin bte Yahya daripada Bahagian Psikologi dan Kaunseling, Putrajaya telah pun menyampaikan maklumat tentang Lelaki Lembut kepada para kaunselor organisasi IPGM di Bayu Beach Resort,Port Dickson, NS. Atas permintaan ramai rakan guru bimbingan dan kaunseling di Sarawak, saya dengan sukacitanya upload maklumat tersebut untuk pengetahuan semua.
  
  DEFINISI
  


• Kecelaruan identiti gender (gender identity disorder – GID) didefinisikan sebagai konflik individu terhadap fizikal sebenar dirinya dengan identifikasi terhadap dirinya sendiri.


• Contohnya seseorang itu dari segi fizikalnya atau dilahirkan sebagai seorang lelaki tetapi mempunyai perasaan dan bertingkahlaku seperti seorang perempuan

Kecelaruan identiti gender tidak boleh disamakan dengan homoseksual.

PENYEBAB

Kemungkinan disebabkan hormon dalam tubuh seseorang, gen dan faktor persekitaran umpamanya didikan keluarga mungkin jadi salah satu penyumbang kepada permasalahan ini

SIMPTOM

KANAK-KANAK

• jijik alat sulit mereka sendiri


• tidak diterima oleh rakan sebaya yang sama gender


• percaya bahawa apabila besar nanti, akan jadi gender yang berlainan


• mengalami tekanan atau anxiety


• menyatakan mereka mahu menjadi gender yang berlainan

DEWASA

• berpakaian seperti berlainan jantina


• merasa kesepian


• mengalami kemurungan atau anxiety


• mahu menjadi seperti individu yang berlainan gender


• mengharap agar alat sulitnya dapat dibuang
  

SAMADA KANAK-KANAK DAN DEWASA :

• memperlihatkan kebiasaan yang dilakukan oleh


• gender yang berlawanan


• menarik diri dari interaksi sosial
  

TANDA-TANDA

• merasakan bahawa mereka berada di dalam badan gender yang “salah”


• Perasaan yang dirasakan ini mestilah dalam tempoh dua tahun untuk di diagnos.


• Sejarah diri dan penilaian psikatrik boleh mengesahkan kehendak kekal untuk menjadi gender yang berlawanan
  

KOMPLIKASI :

• Kemurungan atau anxiety


• Distress emosi


• Merasa keseorangan


• Konsep kendiri yang rendah
  

SENARIO

• Terdapat di mana-mana dalam persekitaran kita


• Di rumah : disukai oleh ahli keluarga terutamanya si ibu kerana banyak membantu dalam melaksanakan kerja-kerja rumah tangga seperti memasak, mengemas, menghias rumah dan menjahit.


• Di sekolah, pelajar dalam kategori lelaki lembut ini di sukai oleh guru-guru kerana ringan tangan membantu guru dalam apa juga keadaan


• Pelajar-pelajar perempuan selesa bergaul bersama pelajar lelaki lembut kerana sangat memahami dan menyukai aktiviti yang dilakukan oleh pelajar perempuan


• Institut pengajian tinggi : pelajar lelaki lembut ini mula mencari dan memasuki kumpulan yang sama “spesis”. Aktiviti yang dilakukan lebih ekstrem


• Mereka lebih berani menonjolkan identiti yang mereka mahukan. Contohnya menyimpan kuku panjang, mencabut bulu kening, memakai “lip gloss” untuk bibir, mewarnakan rambut, menyimpan rambut yang panjang mencecah bahu dan memakai aksesori wanita seperti gelang serta rantai.


• Alam pekerjaan :
  Mereka berpakaian seperti lelaki biasa tetapi masih mahu kelihatan feminin
  dengan memakai celak mata, cabut bulu kening dan berkuku panjang
  

ISU / CABARAN

• Perbincangan ini berfokuskan kepada lelaki lembut yang dilantik menjadi guru
  1) Adakah guru (lelaki lembut) ini akan mempengaruhi anak-anak murid dari segi penampilan dan perawakannya?
  2) Adakah guru ini boleh mengancam pelajar-pelajarnya?
  3) Ruang guru ini untuk mengambil kesempatan?
  4) Organisasi tempat guru tersebut bertugas. Adakah guru ini akan
  memberi imej yang tidak baik dan memberi kesan secara
  langsung dan tidak langsung terhadap reputasi sekolah.
  
  RAWATAN:
  


• Melalui sesi kaunseling


• Melalui spiritual


• Kumpulan sokongan yang mantap.
  
  KESIMPULAN
  


• Sungguhpun lelaki lembut ini anugerah tuhan, sesungguhnya anugerah itu perlu digunakan sebaik mungkin dan ke arah yang positif .


• Andainya kontra yang menjadi ikutan, tentunya impikasi guru lelaki lembut ini membawa persepsi yang negatif, idola / ikutan murid lembut dan boleh ke tahap mengancam organisasi
  
  Rujukan :


• Medilines Plus (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medilineplus/print/ency/article/001527.htmzzz)


• Psychnet-UK


• http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/gender%20_identity_disorder.htm


• www.genderpsychology.org/mental_illness_model.html


• http://webhome.idirect.com/~beech1/GENDERID.HTM
  
  Ribuan terima kasih saya ucapkan kepada Pn. Normazwin atas kesudian untuk berkongsi maklumat tersebut dengan kami semua. Bless u.

An Amazing Gift

An Amazing Gift from My Daughters On Fathers Day

Last Sunday, I accepted my daughters' offer to leave Auckland and north bound to Whangarei for 4 days. My two beloved elder daughters and the son-in-law are working there as pharmacists. Not a bad idea after all I had travelled from Bluffhead to Picton in the South Island and from Wellington to Auckland in the North . Driving further north is a gift to me on Fathers Day in NZ.

It was another exciting experience but to me the vegetation and landscapes could not really match the ones in the South except the beaches.

I visited the local counselling services centre the next day. The billboard says “ Counselling is about listening, acknowledgement, honesty ,change, empathy, values and beliefs. Counselling aims to increase your understanding of yourself and your relationships with other things. “

Since then my dear angels drove me to Kawakawa, Opua, Paihia, Waitangi and Matapuri.

Kawakawa is a railway town with a vintage railway station built since 1865.

The place I am standing now is where the Treaty of Waitangi was signed between the British and the Maori in 1840

The intensive carvings and weaving inside the Whare Runanga, a meeting house for Maori not far away from Paihia .

Cool sea breeze, sunny day, blue waters, blue sky at Matapuri. A perfect day to go out.


Look at my ugly groovy jean. I only wear it in NZ. It is thick, beggy, and warm to put on. You don’t really need to wash it so often because you seldom sweat here.

Okay. So much from me in Whangarei. Tomorrow I am going back to Auckland. I missed Sarah. Thanks to my lovely daughters and son-in-law for a trip well planned and an amazing gift on Fathers day.

Strengthening Family

In God's will, I landed at Auckland International Airport on 29 August 2009 1130am. Hours later, I checked into my house ( a motel-like apartment unit ) at St. Johns, Auckland and united with my 3 beautiful princess ( Goldie, Sylvia and Sarah ) plus a cutie grand daughter ( Baby Tiffany ) for a two weeks vacation in NZ.


Here I am posing in front of my house and parking next to me is Mr. Toyota Camry which we bought in December 2003 when my girls are studying in Dunedin, Otago. We still own a 3 bed rooms house there ( pic below ) under the care of Edinbrugh Property Manangement. Rent $NZ300 per week. The house is vacant at the moment.








Now in the evening, I am at the junction of St. Johns Road / Felton Mathew Ave which is about 50 meters away from my house. Auckland City Centre with her distinctive Sky City is seen at the back ground, taking 15 minutes driving or 12 minutes by train to reach. The bus stop to the Auckland Harbour City is just next to my house.

Since then I attended many rounds of shopping therapy at the Botany Town Centre, Mt. Wellington, Sylvia Park and Pakuranga plus having lots of fun with my 8 months old Tiffany.

There goes the saying that to be a master, learn from the master. Experienced an one hour strengthening family meeting session together with my beloved youngest daughter Sarah. We were clients to an expert psychologist Rosemary and Yogie, a caring social care worker from Whirinaki Mental Health Care Centre at Botany. A touching moment, very emotional. We discussed about acceptance, self esteem, future plannings, unfinished business, expectations and past experiences. Guess I and my dear half feel so guilty to send our little Sarah oversea at an age so young and left her entirely on her own and occasionally under the care of her two elder pharmacist sisters living at different places. She missed tons of parental love. Anyway as parents, we are so blessed with our 3 lovely daughters and we vowed to look after them, take care of them and pray for them and family till the end of the world.

Dear friends. Life is so short. Please make yourself best out of today. Joy is found when giving joys to others. Love and you will be loved. There are so many organisations and good peoples out there who are willing to lend a helping hand. And Strengthening Families is just another one in NZ. I am proud to be a PR here. They are so organised and ready to accept you without conditions.

Strengthening Families is a family welfare support group which helps you sort thing out when life's challenges weigh you down. It brings together the agencies that can help your family dan deal with your concerns. You help decide which agencies will be at the meetings and you can bring family members (whanau in Maori ) and friends for support. By having everyone together at the same time, you only have to tell your story once.

At the first meeting, you talk about what is important to your family and what you want to see happen. The agencies invited to be there will talk about how they will assist you and your family. Together you and the agencies will develop a plan to help you achieve your goals. This plan identifies what everyone will be doing in the days and weeks ahead. Following-up meeting will be held to ensure the plan is working for you.

Benefits of Strengthening Families are family friendly, voluntary for families, respectful of cultural diversity and good at helping families connect with their community.