• LELAKI LEMBUT – SATU PENGENALAN
  
  Isu Lelaki Lembut telah dibangkitkan dalam Mesyuarat Kaunselor Organisasi dan Kaunselor HEP Institut Pendidikan Guru Malaysia pada 20-22 April 2009 di Hotel Royale Bintang, Seremban. Didapati bahawa ada wujudnya personaliti seumpama itu bukan sahaja di IPGM bahkan juga di banyak institusi lain termasuk sekolah-sekolah di seluruh negara. Ekoran daripada itu KPM pula mengambil tindakan untuk mendapatkan data bagi jenis kes yang berkenaan dan seterusnya mengenalpasti strategi untuk menolong mereka agar isu kecelaruan identiti gender ini tidak akan menjadikan satu lagi masalah sosial di negara kita.
  
  Kebetulan juga pada pertengahan Julai yang lalu, Pn. Normazwin bte Yahya daripada Bahagian Psikologi dan Kaunseling, Putrajaya telah pun menyampaikan maklumat tentang Lelaki Lembut kepada para kaunselor organisasi IPGM di Bayu Beach Resort,Port Dickson, NS. Atas permintaan ramai rakan guru bimbingan dan kaunseling di Sarawak, saya dengan sukacitanya upload maklumat tersebut untuk pengetahuan semua.
  
  DEFINISI
  


• Kecelaruan identiti gender (gender identity disorder – GID) didefinisikan sebagai konflik individu terhadap fizikal sebenar dirinya dengan identifikasi terhadap dirinya sendiri.


• Contohnya seseorang itu dari segi fizikalnya atau dilahirkan sebagai seorang lelaki tetapi mempunyai perasaan dan bertingkahlaku seperti seorang perempuan

Kecelaruan identiti gender tidak boleh disamakan dengan homoseksual.

PENYEBAB

Kemungkinan disebabkan hormon dalam tubuh seseorang, gen dan faktor persekitaran umpamanya didikan keluarga mungkin jadi salah satu penyumbang kepada permasalahan ini

SIMPTOM

KANAK-KANAK

• jijik alat sulit mereka sendiri


• tidak diterima oleh rakan sebaya yang sama gender


• percaya bahawa apabila besar nanti, akan jadi gender yang berlainan


• mengalami tekanan atau anxiety


• menyatakan mereka mahu menjadi gender yang berlainan

DEWASA

• berpakaian seperti berlainan jantina


• merasa kesepian


• mengalami kemurungan atau anxiety


• mahu menjadi seperti individu yang berlainan gender


• mengharap agar alat sulitnya dapat dibuang
  

SAMADA KANAK-KANAK DAN DEWASA :

• memperlihatkan kebiasaan yang dilakukan oleh


• gender yang berlawanan


• menarik diri dari interaksi sosial
  

TANDA-TANDA

• merasakan bahawa mereka berada di dalam badan gender yang “salah”


• Perasaan yang dirasakan ini mestilah dalam tempoh dua tahun untuk di diagnos.


• Sejarah diri dan penilaian psikatrik boleh mengesahkan kehendak kekal untuk menjadi gender yang berlawanan
  

KOMPLIKASI :

• Kemurungan atau anxiety


• Distress emosi


• Merasa keseorangan


• Konsep kendiri yang rendah
  

SENARIO

• Terdapat di mana-mana dalam persekitaran kita


• Di rumah : disukai oleh ahli keluarga terutamanya si ibu kerana banyak membantu dalam melaksanakan kerja-kerja rumah tangga seperti memasak, mengemas, menghias rumah dan menjahit.


• Di sekolah, pelajar dalam kategori lelaki lembut ini di sukai oleh guru-guru kerana ringan tangan membantu guru dalam apa juga keadaan


• Pelajar-pelajar perempuan selesa bergaul bersama pelajar lelaki lembut kerana sangat memahami dan menyukai aktiviti yang dilakukan oleh pelajar perempuan


• Institut pengajian tinggi : pelajar lelaki lembut ini mula mencari dan memasuki kumpulan yang sama “spesis”. Aktiviti yang dilakukan lebih ekstrem


• Mereka lebih berani menonjolkan identiti yang mereka mahukan. Contohnya menyimpan kuku panjang, mencabut bulu kening, memakai “lip gloss” untuk bibir, mewarnakan rambut, menyimpan rambut yang panjang mencecah bahu dan memakai aksesori wanita seperti gelang serta rantai.


• Alam pekerjaan :
  Mereka berpakaian seperti lelaki biasa tetapi masih mahu kelihatan feminin
  dengan memakai celak mata, cabut bulu kening dan berkuku panjang
  

ISU / CABARAN

• Perbincangan ini berfokuskan kepada lelaki lembut yang dilantik menjadi guru
  1) Adakah guru (lelaki lembut) ini akan mempengaruhi anak-anak murid dari segi penampilan dan perawakannya?
  2) Adakah guru ini boleh mengancam pelajar-pelajarnya?
  3) Ruang guru ini untuk mengambil kesempatan?
  4) Organisasi tempat guru tersebut bertugas. Adakah guru ini akan
  memberi imej yang tidak baik dan memberi kesan secara
  langsung dan tidak langsung terhadap reputasi sekolah.
  
  RAWATAN:
  


• Melalui sesi kaunseling


• Melalui spiritual


• Kumpulan sokongan yang mantap.
  
  KESIMPULAN
  


• Sungguhpun lelaki lembut ini anugerah tuhan, sesungguhnya anugerah itu perlu digunakan sebaik mungkin dan ke arah yang positif .


• Andainya kontra yang menjadi ikutan, tentunya impikasi guru lelaki lembut ini membawa persepsi yang negatif, idola / ikutan murid lembut dan boleh ke tahap mengancam organisasi
  
  Rujukan :


• Medilines Plus (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medilineplus/print/ency/article/001527.htmzzz)


• Psychnet-UK


• http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/gender%20_identity_disorder.htm


• www.genderpsychology.org/mental_illness_model.html


• http://webhome.idirect.com/~beech1/GENDERID.HTM
  
  Ribuan terima kasih saya ucapkan kepada Pn. Normazwin atas kesudian untuk berkongsi maklumat tersebut dengan kami semua. Bless u.

An Amazing Gift

An Amazing Gift from My Daughters On Fathers Day

Last Sunday, I accepted my daughters' offer to leave Auckland and north bound to Whangarei for 4 days. My two beloved elder daughters and the son-in-law are working there as pharmacists. Not a bad idea after all I had travelled from Bluffhead to Picton in the South Island and from Wellington to Auckland in the North . Driving further north is a gift to me on Fathers Day in NZ.

It was another exciting experience but to me the vegetation and landscapes could not really match the ones in the South except the beaches.

I visited the local counselling services centre the next day. The billboard says “ Counselling is about listening, acknowledgement, honesty ,change, empathy, values and beliefs. Counselling aims to increase your understanding of yourself and your relationships with other things. “

Since then my dear angels drove me to Kawakawa, Opua, Paihia, Waitangi and Matapuri.

Kawakawa is a railway town with a vintage railway station built since 1865.

The place I am standing now is where the Treaty of Waitangi was signed between the British and the Maori in 1840

The intensive carvings and weaving inside the Whare Runanga, a meeting house for Maori not far away from Paihia .

Cool sea breeze, sunny day, blue waters, blue sky at Matapuri. A perfect day to go out.


Look at my ugly groovy jean. I only wear it in NZ. It is thick, beggy, and warm to put on. You don’t really need to wash it so often because you seldom sweat here.

Okay. So much from me in Whangarei. Tomorrow I am going back to Auckland. I missed Sarah. Thanks to my lovely daughters and son-in-law for a trip well planned and an amazing gift on Fathers day.

Strengthening Family

In God's will, I landed at Auckland International Airport on 29 August 2009 1130am. Hours later, I checked into my house ( a motel-like apartment unit ) at St. Johns, Auckland and united with my 3 beautiful princess ( Goldie, Sylvia and Sarah ) plus a cutie grand daughter ( Baby Tiffany ) for a two weeks vacation in NZ.


Here I am posing in front of my house and parking next to me is Mr. Toyota Camry which we bought in December 2003 when my girls are studying in Dunedin, Otago. We still own a 3 bed rooms house there ( pic below ) under the care of Edinbrugh Property Manangement. Rent $NZ300 per week. The house is vacant at the moment.








Now in the evening, I am at the junction of St. Johns Road / Felton Mathew Ave which is about 50 meters away from my house. Auckland City Centre with her distinctive Sky City is seen at the back ground, taking 15 minutes driving or 12 minutes by train to reach. The bus stop to the Auckland Harbour City is just next to my house.

Since then I attended many rounds of shopping therapy at the Botany Town Centre, Mt. Wellington, Sylvia Park and Pakuranga plus having lots of fun with my 8 months old Tiffany.

There goes the saying that to be a master, learn from the master. Experienced an one hour strengthening family meeting session together with my beloved youngest daughter Sarah. We were clients to an expert psychologist Rosemary and Yogie, a caring social care worker from Whirinaki Mental Health Care Centre at Botany. A touching moment, very emotional. We discussed about acceptance, self esteem, future plannings, unfinished business, expectations and past experiences. Guess I and my dear half feel so guilty to send our little Sarah oversea at an age so young and left her entirely on her own and occasionally under the care of her two elder pharmacist sisters living at different places. She missed tons of parental love. Anyway as parents, we are so blessed with our 3 lovely daughters and we vowed to look after them, take care of them and pray for them and family till the end of the world.

Dear friends. Life is so short. Please make yourself best out of today. Joy is found when giving joys to others. Love and you will be loved. There are so many organisations and good peoples out there who are willing to lend a helping hand. And Strengthening Families is just another one in NZ. I am proud to be a PR here. They are so organised and ready to accept you without conditions.

Strengthening Families is a family welfare support group which helps you sort thing out when life's challenges weigh you down. It brings together the agencies that can help your family dan deal with your concerns. You help decide which agencies will be at the meetings and you can bring family members (whanau in Maori ) and friends for support. By having everyone together at the same time, you only have to tell your story once.

At the first meeting, you talk about what is important to your family and what you want to see happen. The agencies invited to be there will talk about how they will assist you and your family. Together you and the agencies will develop a plan to help you achieve your goals. This plan identifies what everyone will be doing in the days and weeks ahead. Following-up meeting will be held to ensure the plan is working for you.

Benefits of Strengthening Families are family friendly, voluntary for families, respectful of cultural diversity and good at helping families connect with their community.

20 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR BOSS

Ketua JKK Pentas, Konvokesyen KPLI IPGM Zon Sarawak 2009

Each man is unique. Everyone has self-esteem. To gain recognition is a combination of strategy and character. How to impress our boss and go for a win-win session require one to be humble, sincere and loyal. We also need to be tactful, courageous, knowledgible and most of all as trustworthy feeling, moving and thinking beings.

I believe all of us has our personal assets and posses certain kind of skills that can be incorporated into our practising profession. Just be innovative if you are not creative and make sure that you love your job and enjoy your work. Try some of the following tips that I have been using all these years. Effective or not, you be the judge. At least it works on me as I was able to impress my superiors who awarded me Anugerah Perkidmatan Cemerlang ( APC ) after working with them for 8 months only.


20 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR BOSS

Penceramah Motivasi Bagi Seminar Kepimpinan Pendidikan Bahagian Mukah, Sarawak 2008

1. Know the mission
Align yourself with your superiors and institution's goals and values.
Make your organisation priorities your priorities.

2. Understand how you'll be evaluated.
Know precisely which skills, behaviors and accomplishments you will be judged on and rewarded. Focus on them like a laser.

3. Be dependable.
Do what you say you're going to do. Better yet, under-promise and over-deliver.
Walk your talk.

4. Project positive energy.
Don't be the one to whine or criticize the boss or orgnisation direction.
Be a motivator: the person everyone wants to be around.

5. Make your organisation look good.
Finish your work on time and with a high level of professionalism.
Bring your boss ideas that will help him and the department and offer to take charge and implement them.

6. Own up.
Take responsibility for your mistakes by focusing on what you've learned rather than what you've done wrong.

7. Have priority
Plan your next day before you leave work.
Rank your tasks by urgency and importance and make a point of doing at least the top two items on your list.
8. Be punctual.

Arriving for work or meetings on time (even early) shows you're enthusiastic, dependable and able to manage your life effectively.

9. Be resourceful.
Don't run to the boss with every question you have or setback you encounter.
Think things through first.
If you must report a problem to the boss, develop possible solutions to present.

10. Broaden your horizons.
Take advantage of organisation-sponsored training courses and volunteer for projects in areas outside your everyday expertise.

11. Stay informed.
Keep abreast of institue trends by reading teaching / education journals and attending professional association events.

12. Be trendy.
Stay with current technological, legal and knowledge advances in your area.
Upgrade your skills and learn new ones.

13. Be courteous.
Show respect and loyalty to your boss and speak well of him / her to others.
(At the very least don't bad mouth him / her to anyone.)

14. Be flexible.
Change is inevitable.
Institute / organisation need people who can adapt and go with the flow.

15. Take care of your health.
When you are run-down, productivity and ambition suffer - as does your image.

16. Leave your personal life at the door
Using your co-workers as therapists not only hurts productivity; it damages your credibility and can contaminate your work relationships (even if people seem sympathetic).

17. Go beyond the call of duty
Take on added challenges, put in extra hours, and
never use the phrase, "That's not in my job description."

18. Be a team player.
Show your boss and staff you have their best interests at heart by being empathetic and offering to help out when they need it.

19. Take a break now and then.
A clear head and balanced life can give you energy and perspective.

20. Look and act promotable
Don't let anyone think you work because you have to.

Good Luck everybody. Greetings from St. John, Auckland, NZ

The Intrinsic Nature of Counselling Persona

A moment of Truth - My eldest girl Goldie graduated from University of Otago with a Bacelor of Pharmacy in 2005.

Pic taken at The Octagon Dunedin NZ in front of a giant Christmas tree.

Since 1977, I used to be a trained secondary school Visual Art Education teacher who later gradually became the Sarawak State Kakitangan Sumber for PSV KBSM in 1988, JU for the same subject in 1994 and an examiner for Malaysian Examination Syndicate after that. An awesome experience which enabled me to interact with fellow teachers through out the country for so many years. Vowed to become a multi-disciplined teacher to produce multi-talented generations for the future, I decided to take up Guidance and counselling with UPM in 1996. Bet I had made a right choice because it was fun all the way until this very day.

I undertand that many school managers in the country are not particularly happy with the performance of their guidance and counselling teachers. Among the many unfriendly remarks I heard and the most cruel of all is that " Counselling teachers need to be counselled first."

I admitted that just like teachers, not everyone can be a counsellor and we are still in the process of learning through practising. A good counsellor should be pragmatic, creative and sensitive to the surrounding world. Beside the essential knowledge and theories, he first must possess the intrinsic plus altruistic nature of counselling persona.

The persona grata of a refined counsellor should start with what I call CUT APPLE SARAH which simply means

C - Caring
U - Understanding
T - Trustworthy

A - Acceptance without condition
P - Patience
P - Positive thinking
L - Listen
E - Empathy

S - Sharing
A - Appreciate
R - Respect
A - Acknowledge
H - Help

Counsellors should have high IESQ. Unfortunately many counselling teachers tend to have high IQ, average EQ and low SQ. This make some of us become a little bit selfish, sometimes over emotional, self centered, refuse to cooperate with others and show no integrity in works. Any way, our thoughts, our words, our actions, our habits and our characters will become our destiny and reflect who the actual self we are as the days move on.

Apart from that, do not forget our professional career code which is spelt as SEA i.e. Social, Enterprising and Artistic.

Good luck. Happy counselling.

The Essence of Teaching Professional

Strolling along the esplanade of St. Clair Beach at South Dunedin, East Otago, NZ in summer 2008.

The quality of education depends on the quality of teachers. After teaching for the past 30 years, I have a point to make. So many peoples out there agree with me that we do not see many great teachers who teach to inspire their students nowadays. Out of the approximate 370 thousand teachers serving in the country, majority of them are medicore teachers who teach for salary and also a signficant big number of bad teachers who prefer to complain rather than to perform. The rest are the good, better and best teachers who try to explain, to demontrate and to motivate their students beside teaching. Base on obervation, interviews with school managers and research questionaries, personally i feel that 3070 is the yard stick. In other words, only 30% teachers are good to great while others claim even less than that.

No doubt that teachers, lecturers and professors in this country generally enjoy bigger pays when compared to public servants from other sectors. This is a recognition by the government that teaching profession is vital in nation building. The quality of the students today will determine the strength and status of the nation tomorrow. If the students are the soldiers, then the teachers are the generals.

Unfortunately, despite the various incentives and numerous promotion channels created for teaching profession, we have yet to see any concrete positive returns. As mentioned by the Institut Integriti Malaysia, integrity among public servants in the country need to be more strictly observed. As a matter of fact, teachers and their counter parts should be placed in the fore front. The reason is simple. Every rakyat, who ever they are, will go to school for knowledge and character buildings at one stage of their life. The teachers are there :
To teach so the students will learn to know;
To teach so the students will learn to do ;
To teach so the students will learn to be ;
To teach so the students will learn to live together.

Qualified teachers are trained to teach. They are trained by lecturers in IPGM or professors in the varsities. Hence the quality of teachers reflects the quality of lecturers and professors. Lecturers and professors are the role models of the teacher trainees. As such, let pray to all the lecturers and professors in the country, especially those serving in IPGM, bless them with good health and abundant wisdom, and always working on the right track “ leadership by examples ”.

10 Basic Working Principles For Great Lecturers and Teachers

1.Being meticulous in carrying out your work.
2.Be punctual.
3.Accurate with your facts. Adopt “ Do it right the first time attitude ”.
4.Continously strive for excellent.
5.Not to discriminate against slow learners. Treat all students equally.
6.Be mentally and physically tough, highly resilent, fair and wise.
7.Be multi-skilled for multi-talented generation.
8.Do not abuse the working hours. Studying at your leisure time, not working
hours.
9.Never be complacent. Complacency is our greatest enemy.
10.Think effectively, cooperate. Be united at times of adversities.